The Ultimate Man List.

Another example of life working in mysterious ways. So in late December of 2010, me and Megan were sitting in a waiting room, she was single and I was deciding how to get myself that way, both angry about the male race but in different ways. So, we made a list. An epic guideline of what we wanted in our next male suitor. Her's was similar, but here is mine. 

The Ultimate Man List.

Job/career/degree-or-in-progess. If your future looks grim, why would I want to be a part of it?

good sense of humor. Farting is not funny. Wit is.

athletic, I shouldnt be able to kick your ass. but I probably can.

attractive, because I am vain.

supportive, I have things I want to do. be excited for me.

responsible. I dont babysit for free.

accountable, excuses are like assholes.... if you say your going to do it, do it.

good with animals. Love mother earth, star flower.

has a brain... intelligence is hot.

spontanious, if I wanted to date myself, I would never surprise me. how fun is that.

genuine, flowers are nice because everyone says they are, honestly where ever you set them down in my apartment is probably where they are going to go through every phase of decomposition. step outta the box...

ambitious. Hi, I’m Dr. Baylea Wagener, any idea where you will be in 10 years?

horse sense, if I have to worry about your toes getting smashed clearly I’m not having fun. 

can cook/clean--or at least survive...

has a LIFE. I dont want to be your world. just part of it.

has hobbies. I ride ponies and color things. what do you like to do?

competitive- dont let me win or we’ll play till I lose.

sense of style-I dont want to dress you, its like wiping your ass. your mother used to do that.

nonsmoker. gross. apparently your ok with never getting kissed in your life.

DOES NOT drive like a lunatic. I will test fate and remove my seat belt, its your fault if I die.

straight forward. I already have cheerleaders, their called my parents. if I wanted anything sugar coated I’d probably 

expect to eat it.

Polite- unnessicary rudeness will get you knocked out

Respectful, I dont want to make out in front of your mom, thats weird for all 3 of us.

Doesn't Pout- build a bridge and get over it. then burn it.

Constructive- when I’m having crisises, as I am prone to, I know I will be OK, lets talk about how I will get there.

Can dance. if you cant, then don’t complain when I lead

Can hold a conversation. I do get tired of hearing myself talk, what do you have to say about that?

Not embarassing. Dont make me have to "excuse" anything you say or do in front of my friends when your in the bathroom.

Not jealous... If I wanted to date someone else, I would.

Not controlling. Good luck with that. I am Baylea...

Independent. This means, you can function without me. The Quality of your day isnt determined by whether or not we spoke a lot or a little.

smiles a lot... come on who doesnt like that.

honest, I dont want to find out more about something at a later date, or on my own.

pursues me, Cause honestly, I’m lazy.

genuinely romantic. I’m really not a very romantic person, at all.

original. Dont try to be more like me to impress me, I already impress myself all the time. Impress me with yourself. 

can plan... Because I am tired of making up new dates to take myself on.

organized. Have it together. Except, seriously. 

can make decisions. These are rare oppurtunities, especially with me. Be able to make your mind up.

good with family. I don’t want to have to nervously redirect the conversation, nor should I have to worry about leaving you in a room alone with either parent.

doesnt pressure me. I do what I want, on my own time. 

not manipulative- deep down somewhere inside I have a conscience. if your going to use that to try and get me to do stuff, I’m going to murder you with an ax in your sleep once it dawns on me.