"The hard life of being too fabulous for one's environment"

Through out the years I've done art, I have always found this one thing to be a constant, conflicting, abusive and tormenting factor-- Good inspiration never comes when your ready for it. Well, some variation of that... When it does happen, you become a slave. There is nothing to do but entertain it until you find out exactly what it wants, and then you make it happen.

I've gotta get back on normal people hours. This last week my bed time has averaged at 4 am. 

And I'm not tired. Instead, I'm thinking about projects I want to start. Blogs I want to write. Movies I want to watch and music I want to listen to. 

So right now, here is my current dilemma. 

A background. 

In art, the back ground is sometimes, well usually, the hardest decision to make (aside from what paper to use) and honestly, the most over looked part of a picture. Viewers rarely, really look into a background. Its like the after thought when your looking at something. The foreground is thrilling, however, on a crappy background, the entire thing will become borderline offensive to look at.

Unless of course your looking at a scenery, and then the background becomes gripping. 

Your eyes want  to explore it. 

Albert Beirstadt, by far one of my favorites. The early pioneers of this kind of painting had some of the most captivating work I have ever, EVER seen.

Exhibit A. 

My Junior year I sent "Hello Handsome" to the Houston rodeo. Naked. My background wasn't complete, and being a self proclaimed leader of the revolution, I refused to just throw something down for the sake of it looking "complete" for the fickle Houston judges. Anything to be a rebel honesty. It went to the show that year, with a gold medal. After it came back I immediately dove into the excruciating process of finishing the background word for word. 

The next fall I auctioned it for $1,000. That's what a background does. It creates the setting of the entire story your creating.

And this is the exact problem I am coming up on- and quick, except with a lot less on the line. Mainly just personal satisfaction.

There are options. I can stick with the original background. This is tricky though. Not all pictures are accidently staged to have a fabulous back drop, and the one in question happens to be the inside of a school bus. This could change the whole statement of the picture. Instead of modern goddess, it's a girl on a school bus. Which is a wonderful idea if i wanted to portray a modern goddess-want-to-be on a bus, bringing her back to the hard reality of the cold, cruel world, "The hard life of being too fabulous for one's environment", coincidentally the story of my life [ ...insert a late sarcasm disclaimer..], however, thats not really the angle I want. I dont want the focus to be that way.

Or I can create something abstract. Which, either goes two ways--Only moderately amazing, OR only makes it even more painfully obvious that I had no inclination of what to put back there. 

"I split coffee in the back left corner and covered it with the confusing swirling colors that represent the haze in which one lives in [when one is too fabulous for one's environment]"

I could also make up something, and/or steal something from somewhere else.

"I plagiarized your art work because mine didn't fully represent the life of someone who is struggling to survive in a world [in which they are too fabulous to be a part of]."

I can't decide.

Guess I'll just have to burn that bridge when I get there.

And Next. Now that I have further explored chalk, there are tons of projects I want to take on. 

When Mrs. Weress liked something she would milk it till the cow was dry. and dehydrated. and fatigued. and had blisters on its sore udders. and bled.

If it was good, she'd get right in your face, grab your shoulders, make total eye contact so that just for a few seconds the rest of the world stopped and she'd say-- 

"You know what I'm thinking?"

For Ezter, too much of a good thing can make you drunk on a good thing. Which was perfect.

and then the next, dreaded word as she backs away and raises one eye brow, while pursing her lips and nodding her spiky red/burgundy/copper head---

"series." 

dun dun dunnnnn.

For the rest of my life, that is one of many, very many, similar moments I will never ever be able to erase from my mind.

I relived that one earlier while i was thinking about what I want to do next. 

Series. 

I have some pictures from the same day as my current project, I would love to do them.

Mostly to mess with the colors more and play with a few other aspects of chalk.

I'm really enjoying having the freedom to branch out with my material. Thats one of the aspects I love about being done with competitions. No guidelines, no criteria, no deadlines.

I'd secretly like to start doing things from my imagination. Thats going to be extremely hard now, considering I'm almost grown up, don't do any hard drugs, and have drawn almost entirely photo realism, from life, for the last um-teen years.

Le Sigh.

"The same moment that you find yourself thinking- No, that would be too hard.- THAT is when you commit to it."