Self proclaimed leader of the revolution... if only we knew what revolution that was.

Sooo I was wading through the depths of documents on my lap top while sitting in the airport, and found some essays I had written back in high school for a creative writing scholarship my mother found online. I was not excited about taking time out of my busy life's schedule to answer the most random and useless essay questions ever. Needless to say, I never got the scholarship, not that I am surprised having reread these... I like to look back on those years as era of the rebel who needed a cause...

1- An essay about what book you would read after eating your thanksgiving meal-

After my thanksgiving meal I would like to read Wuthering Heights. Because I love Wuthering Heights. It just so happens to be my favorite book. And, coincidently, I happen to find many similarities in Wuthering Heights and a Thanksgiving meal that would compliment the digestion of my meal. The passionate love between Heathcliffe and Catherine is quite similar to my love for food in general, and how it can be destructive in the end; because after eating too much, I will not  be feeling all too well… much like Heathcliffe and Catherine both, who initially end up dead—not feeling to well I can imagine. The food seeking revenge on my bowels also proves to have a striking resemblance to how Heathcliffe’s never ending quest for revenge. I can also see myself being doubled over in pain, as my stomach will be splitting at the seams with food, much like Heathcliffe who I am sure spent much time double over in mental agony at the lose of his dear love. Though, I am afraid I will be much happier to lose my “love” hours after the meal. There will also be foods that I choose not to eat, as I dislike them dearly, with the same passion that I dislike several characters in the book-such as Edgar Linton, Hindley, Mr. Lockwood, and Nelly. I will make sure to avoid these sides until I can enact my revenge upon them for no good reason, much like Heathcliffe did upon the afore mentioned characters, I will throw certain foods away, such as stuffing or cranberry sauce, a few short hours after they are not consumed. For the most part, I really feel as though Wuthering Heights is not just a good read, it is best when paired with holidays to better understand the parallels between the book and real life. Clearly, after such an in depth look at the story line in comparison to a holiday such as Thanksgiving, I may be the Heathcliffe of Thanksgiving. Thank you for the opportunity to better understand myself.

2- If you could have a nontraditional thanksgiving, what foods would you eat and why??-

Thanksgiving just so happens to be my favorite meal of the year. If I were to replace a traditional Thanksgiving meal with anything, it would have to be my other favorite foods that I eat on the rest of the tree hundred and sixty-four days. We will start with the bottom of the food pyramid and work our way up through my favorite foods in each group. In the bread group, I will request French bread. Because I adore French bread and its garlicky goodness. Next, moving to vegetables, I will select mashed potatoes and corn from the starchiest block, they may be a traditional side but I cannot exclude them because I am abundantly thankful for my taters and corn. And whether or not the purpose of this is to branch out away from tradition, I refuse to budge on potatoes and corn. On to fruits. I am not a fan of fruits. I have never liked the feeling of pulp in my mouth, or especially in drinks and I am not fond of that sharp, sour, citrus taste, so I will leave fruits out since I am not thankful for them at all. In meats, I happen to cherish seafood and hold it close to my heart, so sushi will be served. As well, I do love turkey, and whether it is traditional or not, I don't traditionally get to eat turkey on a regular basis so I wont be giving that up the one day a year that I am guaranteed to eat it. The only product from the Dairy section of the pyramid will be a cubed cheese tray. There'd be many assorted flavors, however since I mostly like cheddar, there will be lots of cheddar. I love that sharp bitter taste and I would eat it all by it’s self if I had the choice. Lastly, I believe I only have the tiny sweets triangle left. From here, I will only serve chocolate. Abundant chocolate. Chocolate peacocks, chocolate swans, chocolate turkey, anything that flies and can be sculpted from chocolate. As party favors my guests will take home small chocolate chickens. How's that for traditional.

1- Honestly, A book after thanksgiving dinner?? I love to read, I really do. But what the heck did they expect? Shakespeare after ingesting the largest meal of the year? The last thing I want to do after eating that much is exercise anything including my mind. My only wish after eating a quarter of my weight is to lay down somewhere dark and let cardiac arrest take over.

2-And yet another... its almost a tad bit cliche. But again, what else am I supposed to write about, what kind of sandwich I would have on thanksgiving day instead of something incredibly delicious I'd much rather be eating like turkey. 

Anyway, so seriously, the lesson we should take from this-- Pick better essay questions and young Baylea would have been much more inclined to write something of more meaning and substance.

For example- What to do in the event of a Zombie apocalypse.