For those of you who aren't aware of what's happening in the world,
because our news feeds are clogged up with this crap,
Let me bring you up to speed with some of the important issues of today.
First,
Now here we have a particularly angry young lady because the year book staff of her high school is refusing to display her senior picture.
I honestly can't see what the issue is here.
I took all of my senior pictures modeling a napkin.
A wet one.
Sydney Spies is pissed because--
“I feel like they aren’t allowing me to have my freedom of expression,” Spies told the Herald. ”I think the administration is wrong in this situation, and I don’t want this to happen to other people.”
Her freedom to look like a whore?
No thank you, I wouldn't wrap a scarf around my boobs and mail those out for my grad invitations.
And I hope they poll her student body, because at least one of them has to have enough of a brain to say in 20 years I don't want to be looking back through my high school year book to see homegirl's bare midriff hanging out by my head.
Ohhh and for the record- she is publicly fighting her schools administration-- But wait, it was actually the decision of the year book staff... the admin has publicly stated they have nothing to do with it... yeah. Spies and her following of idiots are battling her school's admin for no reason....
Naked rebel's without a cause.
In other news,
Thank God, and may we never see her in our feeds again.
Bristol Palin "quit" hollywood.
Oh thank God, now I can rest easy knowing it'll be at least another 6 months before
more of her baby-daddy-drama pops up in my feed
while I'm searching for actual issues that will affect me.
"I just realized I was over it and I wanted to come home."
Well its about time Bristol, because I am over you.
And across the sea..
Lipo vouchers all around!
Surely this can't be serious.
But yes, yes it it.
I know all of you out there with young daughters are wondering
"Where can I get my 7 yr old daughter's lipo voucher?!"
Don't fret, I'm working on that.
I'll post when I know.
I think I may create my own to hand out in the mean time,
But first your going to have to free jump from a cliff.
Those surviving the fall will receive their voucher's at the bottom,
Assuming they are under 10 years of age of course.
And supportive mothers most have survived the fall as well.
This is a joint effort.
Work for your child's lipo voucher, ladies!
Your next great read will be
Hopefully not this.
Yes.
It's as we feared.
The Kardashian's have written a novel.
Something about three wildly misunderstood sisters, from an ridiculous, attention hungry family...
Call me crazy, but I'm noticing some parallels here... Eh I dunno.
Hopefully this never makes it any further than the banned list.
Annndddd
The Grand Finale in a nut shell....
Kirstie Alley got her kids initial's tattooed on her wrist- because your dying to know that,
Madonna went skying,
Nick Cannon is OK, he just had a mild kidney infection- dammit,
Mischa Barton wore a polka dot bikini,
Ryan Gosling took his mom to the movies,
Tom Selleck was on the view- Go Dad!,
Snooki lost weight- but still looks like a mexican oompa loompa,
Tina Fey bashes in a windshield for whatever show she is on,
and Kim Kardashian held some fuzzy animal.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go read a dictionary and sip some Earl Grey.
My brain feels fuzzy and stupid.
Enjoy some White Stripes while your here.
And THAT is why Jack White made Rolling Stones 100 Top Guitarist of our time.
Thank you, and good evening.
I took all of my senior pictures modeling a napkin.
A wet one.
Sydney Spies is pissed because--
“I feel like they aren’t allowing me to have my freedom of expression,” Spies told the Herald. ”I think the administration is wrong in this situation, and I don’t want this to happen to other people.”
Her freedom to look like a whore?
No thank you, I wouldn't wrap a scarf around my boobs and mail those out for my grad invitations.
And I hope they poll her student body, because at least one of them has to have enough of a brain to say in 20 years I don't want to be looking back through my high school year book to see homegirl's bare midriff hanging out by my head.
Ohhh and for the record- she is publicly fighting her schools administration-- But wait, it was actually the decision of the year book staff... the admin has publicly stated they have nothing to do with it... yeah. Spies and her following of idiots are battling her school's admin for no reason....
Naked rebel's without a cause.
In other news,
Thank God, and may we never see her in our feeds again.
Bristol Palin "quit" hollywood.
Oh thank God, now I can rest easy knowing it'll be at least another 6 months before
more of her baby-daddy-drama pops up in my feed
while I'm searching for actual issues that will affect me.
"I just realized I was over it and I wanted to come home."
Well its about time Bristol, because I am over you.
And across the sea..
Lipo vouchers all around!
Surely this can't be serious.
But yes, yes it it.
I know all of you out there with young daughters are wondering
"Where can I get my 7 yr old daughter's lipo voucher?!"
Don't fret, I'm working on that.
I'll post when I know.
I think I may create my own to hand out in the mean time,
But first your going to have to free jump from a cliff.
Those surviving the fall will receive their voucher's at the bottom,
Assuming they are under 10 years of age of course.
And supportive mothers most have survived the fall as well.
This is a joint effort.
Work for your child's lipo voucher, ladies!
Your next great read will be
Hopefully not this.
Yes.
It's as we feared.
The Kardashian's have written a novel.
Something about three wildly misunderstood sisters, from an ridiculous, attention hungry family...
Call me crazy, but I'm noticing some parallels here... Eh I dunno.
Hopefully this never makes it any further than the banned list.
Annndddd
The Grand Finale in a nut shell....
Kirstie Alley got her kids initial's tattooed on her wrist- because your dying to know that,
Madonna went skying,
Nick Cannon is OK, he just had a mild kidney infection- dammit,
Mischa Barton wore a polka dot bikini,
Ryan Gosling took his mom to the movies,
Tom Selleck was on the view- Go Dad!,
Snooki lost weight- but still looks like a mexican oompa loompa,
Tina Fey bashes in a windshield for whatever show she is on,
and Kim Kardashian held some fuzzy animal.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go read a dictionary and sip some Earl Grey.
My brain feels fuzzy and stupid.
Enjoy some White Stripes while your here.
And THAT is why Jack White made Rolling Stones 100 Top Guitarist of our time.
Thank you, and good evening.
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