11.15.2011

Once upon a time, I was the coolest person I knew...

Do this right.
Click play and start reading.
I'm watching you.





So Monday, while I was busy at work not working, I stumbled upon my old myspace blogs. Not exactly stumbled, but more like purposefully went straight there because I needed something riveting to read of the highest quality. And after sifting back through the majority of them, I found this little doozy. I confess, this is kind of a sick hobby of mine, when I am bored with my current life I like to read back through my passed lives via blogs, surveys, photos, whatever I have available at the time. Vain, but its always interesting to look back over the development of Baylea just to see where things are heading.
I feel like if I could track my brain development on something similar to a hurricane chart, you'd see a pattern a little like this-
Casually fabulous while carrying tiramisu down stairs...


Epic clash of the Titans...


Candidly pausing to take in the scenery on a local railroad track...


....

And Baylea post-college.

Any way, I feel like the usual Oscar Wilde quote could sum up my narcissistic habit of reading my old blogs--
"I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train."

And here we go....
*cue flashback
This came to me during a horsefly genocide.
Its possible that I am the center of all knowledge.
I know, I know, you are all dumbstruck to realize that you have been in such close contact with such a fantastic life force.

Its alright.

Once you recover your seat, I am going dazzle you with a sudden bout of wisdom bestowed upon myself from by the forces of nature and incredible logic.

To whom it may concern(---in this case, its probable that this is a group-
more directly, the person who named the "standard poodle"--- "standard"
and less directly to the people who accept this ridiculous term.)


You sir(s) are wrong,
Because--let me tell you.
When I think of a "standard" anything, I think of the original, classic, typical version of whatever that adjective might refer to.

So, for example, the image provoked in my mind by the term "standard" poodle, is that of a curly, bug-eyed, black mopped lap dog, most likely belonging to an elderly woman, perhaps with a large, framed collection of kittens posing in teacups.

Actually something more similar to a “miniature” poodle.
Not a pony-dog.

That, is actually a LARGE poodle. 
Because, when referring to size, perhaps it is wise to use terms accurately describing size.
Such as the "large poodle"
Perhaps the "massive poodle"
Or the "enormous poodle"
And even to simplify for elementary students -the "big poodle" (named Spot)

Not standard.
Standard is a term that I would consider nessicary to set as the state of normality when making comparisons. 
Now, for a moment, lets say I would accept that hypothesis as correct.
To say that a miniature poodle is indeed miniature in comparison to the standard is stupid.
True, but stupid.
The "mini" poodle is the state of normality.
I personally blame the Big Mac, hormone injected chickens, and America. We are unconsciously forcing ourselves to think giant is normal, and not giant at all.


So it is the mini poodle that should be the standard.

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