Lobby for your Hobby

So for those of you who haven't ventured out to Hobby Lobby lately, 

let me just bring you up to speed- in the form of a picture blog. 

Yay!

So I spent about an hour and a half wandering around the store today to pass some time.

And cause I needed some cheap acrylics for my collage. 

And Varnish.

And metallic gold paint, which goes without saying if Im using a brush.

So, for starters

10 points to the first person that can tell me what is wrong with this picture.

I'll give you a hint-

It starts with ch- and ends with -ristmas.

This is one of my biggest pet peeves, third only to gum popping, which makes me instantly violently angry

and the certain ring that our phones at work make when someone within the campus is transferring a call.

That also makes me violently angry, for reasons I do not fully understand.

In short, I passionately dislike with every ounce of my being when the christmas decorations are out before thanksgiving.

I haven't even had a chance so sit down and read my turkey, and eat my wuthering heights yet (10 more points for whoever gets the reference...)

and everywhere I go their forcing christmas decorations down mah friggin throat.

                                       

So yeah. I dont like feeling rushed.

And Hobby Lobby is rushing me.

And these things. 

I have no idea how the hell insane rainbow unicorn horns of death are connected to christmas, 

But I like where this is going.

 These things are made of all that is good,

  I haven't seen anything this exciting since I last went out wearing glitter and sweat.

For Shame.

Crack Christmas. 

For when regular colors just aren't vivid enough for you.

Largely Over Sized Christmas.

Clearly compensating for something...

Extremely Overly Patriotic Christmas.

We took regular Christmas colors, and added America to them.

Because we're celebrating the birthday of Jesus Ulysses Christ Of America.

Next, 

Balls.

Thats right. 

Decorative Balls. 

I have no idea why.

But I want them.

Strange Fleur de Lis hangy thingy.

No idea what purpose this serves at all,

but its gotta Fluer de Lis on it, 

and its strategically hung next to an Eiffel tower.

Fancy.

Now thats superb marketing right there.

These. 

I want these.

And their half off. 

And I still cant afford either.

Apparently, I missed the latest totally useless and narcissistic arting trend.

"artist trading cards"

basically, there are all these extremely cool things I would like to use in my collage

and their scaled down miniature, so I feel like I need tons of them,

and then, their way over priced.

Exciting yes?

Now, the real purpose for these tiny sketch pads, brushes, and little jars of glitter and sequins,

is so that you can take a picture of some victorian era woman (also miniature)

usually surrounded by cherubs/florals/lace

and decorate them.

Then you give these to all your artist friends, and you collect them.

even when I am 65 I will refuse to do this.

Finally, 

The real reason I was at Hobby Lobby.

Oh just lil ole' me.

                                            

This is the insanely over priced varnish Hobby Lobby wants you to buy.

 And this is the much much cheaper and reasonable varnish they don't want you to know about.

So its on the "craft" isle.

Ick.

as well as the metallic paint. 

Hidden amongst the crafts paints, tisk tisk

metallic flecks of paper I want.

When I get payed again.

And the grand finale-

2.99 

Hot glue guns. 

Yes, Hot glue guns.

These are exciting because I'm going to need one for when I shove crayons through it 

to melt on my collage. 

Thats right.

Anyway, 

so in closing